Monday, December 31, 2007

The End of 2007

This is how i'm saying goodbye to the year:

~slept in

~ate oreos for breakfast

~played with the cats

~did Yoga for the first time in my life and instantly fell in love with it

~took a wonderful bubble bath

~am dressed in comfy warm clothes

~going to get something good to eat and take a nap

~gently let go of 2007  - which wasn't a bad year all things considering

~embrace the new year and pray that it is one filled with good things - and that i have strength and courage to get through the valleys.

Happy New Year to all.  Stay warm, stay safe, celebrate with abandon--who knows? 2008 could be your best year yet!

 

 

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Mini-Vacation, Cookies, Rambling on and on

~A good thing about working in Higher Education is that the college is closed during the week between Christmas and New Year's Day.  CLOSED!  Whoot!  that means, dear readers, that emmasirish gets some time off and almost feels as if she can make it!

~Another good thing is getting one's nails done.  How is it that to spend a few minutes in a chair - giving your hands to another - and watching nails transform into perfectly done beauty can be oh so lovely?  Normally sporting a french manicure (and short - because of typing and piano playing) i went all out and got a lovely shade of dark red.  It is quite delightful and made me feel very girly.  Love it

~AND why are are Christmas cookies just so good?  i make cookies all throughout the year - because i like to bake - but during this time of the year the cookies are so good and you cannot just eat one.  Sadly, it'll take a month to work off all the cookies calories! grrrr

~Last night at work, i was reminded that most of what we think is important really isn't.  i was frantically trying to apease a customer who thought we didn't have all of her items when she said, "Ya know what?  This is not going to stress me out.  I deal with AIDS patients all day and have to watch people die and this?  This stuff is not that important and if you can't find it, we'll just cancel the order and start over."  And you know what?  that almost was as if she gave me permission to relax and just realize that LIFE is so precious - so much more than stuff.  i get in such a tizzy because i am a people pleaser and i try to do things well - not for my own benefit but rather so that they will feel taken care of...and she, my customer, put it all into perspective for me again.  i still did my best and will still get a little frantic but really, it's not LIFE.  Good lesson learned.

~And lastly...i have nothing to wear for Sunday (choir giving concert) or Christmas Eve. i think that calls for a quick shopping trip - don't you?  Not going to stress about it but rather make it a celebration shopping trip!

And now?  BUBBLE BATH TIME!

 

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Too close for comfort

In my sleep deprived state of being this morning and with alot on my mind, i headed off to work.  Before i merged onto the highway i had already made four driving mistakes that were stupid and prayed for the ability to drive carefully and arrive at work.

It wasn't until i 'woke up' in the path of the oncoming truck that i was fully awake.  i swerved and he slowed and all was well- no one injured. No harm done.

i hope tonight's commute will be less exciting and that i don't fall asleep...again.

i really hate my commute and wish that we had better public transportation - cause if i were able to ride on a train it wouldn't matter if i got sleepy.

Careful as you go so that you, as well as i, are able to celebrate this holiday season.

 

 

Sunday, December 9, 2007

So this is Christmas

i've just put the final touches on the tree, decorated the mantel, turned on lights and lit candles.  Christmas music is playing from my ancient stereo and i'm planning the Christmas cookie baking marathon.  i'm almost finished buying presents for family members and have Christmas cards addressed and ready to be mailed.

And then a small manger scene catches my eye and i pause to reflect.  Such a simple birth.  None of the above was happening in honor of the small child - though a barrage of angels appearing to shepherds on the hillside certainly trumps anything i've ever done - and yet, this birth changes everything.  Forever.

 

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Bittersweet

Tuesday night found us all at the table - only missing one family member.  What joy!  Joy also that the 3 yr old precious niece ate four helpings of venison and no beef, while the 18 yrs old sister ate only beef and wouldn't even try her venison.  Joy in holding the one yr old niece right after her bath when she was all snuggly and sleepy and that indescribable feeling when she laid her little blonde head on my shoulder, just under my chin.  Is it possible to love someone so much?  Even thinking about it now almost breaks my heart.  And joy in two rip roaring games of Parcheesi (i won them both! not sure how!) with much laughter, a cheer, some rapping and building more into a tradition that we all love.

And Wednesday will find us traveling together and grieving together, finding strength in our family bond and hopefully helping others and being a comfort for a rough day.  We all commented how we're not looking forward to the day but we ARE all glad that we're together.  There is no doubt in my mind that by the end of the day, we will be able to laugh and find joy again. 

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Ramblin'

Surgery for my Uncle and Brother went very well - both are recovering quite well...for this i am thankful.

Thanksgiving was, as usual, the best of days- a time with family and good food and much laughter and just being together - i do love Thanksgiving.  So much to be Thankful for - so very much.

This past Saturday a friend of mine - only 31 yrs old - passed away due to complications of heart and liver problems.   Due to a condition when she was born, surgery at five years old, and then problems with the liver not handling the heart meds she was on her entire life, cut this beautfiul one's life short by human standards.  We are all grieving....and yet, am thankful for the years she was given.

In all things, give Thanks.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Second surgery on my mind

Next week, my brother will be having surgery.  i wish everyone could know my brother...well all of them (i have four) actually...but i'm focusing on Bryan tonight.  Bryan is 15 years old and is built like a linebacker. He is strong and funny and knows sports inside and out.  Bryan's dream is to play football and has a pretty accurate throwing arm but he would love to be a running back.  That will probably never happen this side of Heaven because he has CP.  A horrid happens-at-birth disability that makes his muscles be in a constant state of tension...causing pain and a walk that is difficult. 

i could go on and on about what a trooper he is and how he's a great kid (all true) but that's not my point.  He'll be having surgery next week to insert a hockey puck like device that will deliver medication directly to his spinal cord that will, if all goes well (please God!) help his pain level and also relax his muscles so that he can stand straighter and walk with a bit more ease.

He is nervous.  This is not his first CP related surgery.  It will not be his last.   Working with the spinal cord can always bring about complications but we are hoping for the very best.

i truly wish all could meet him.  He's an amazing kid.

If you think of him next week, would you mind saying a little prayer?

Thank you.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Before it's too late

Tomorrow morning one of my Uncles will be having surgery.  By-pass surgery.  Perhaps double, perhaps triple - Doctor isn't quite sure.  Of course anytime that one goes 'under the knife' death is always an option, isn't it?  However, this Uncle has been in relatively good health and his heart isn't damaged because of the blockages - so that is a plus.

Something that makes this more difficult is that he has been estranged from our family for close to 8 yrs.  It's a long story and one better left in history - but it's been a long road back to fellowship and forgiveness and there are still some bad feelings between family members.  However, i think, for the good, that most are trying to put it behind and focus on the here and now - which is - surgery tomorrow morning.

What if?  What if he doesn't make it?  Or what if he has a stroke or...or...or..?  See the bad possibilities are endless and though it's never, ever pleasant to think or talk about such things, in this case, it's brought to the forefront of my mind because of the past eight years.

So tonight i'm doing a little soul searching.  i know, with a clear conscience, that the last time i saw him (about one year ago), i was kind and cordial and able to look him in the eye and didn't harbor any hard feelings.  That is truth.  i also know that from his part, he has attempted to restore relationships (of sorts) with his children and grandchildren - and that he made some effort is something.  i also know that if he weren't to make it (though i hope everything goes really splendid tomorrow) that i WOULD be sad at his passing and would be genuine in my grief.  So though i've not expressed this all tohim, and truly don't feel that i need to, i know that i can pray for him with a clean heart and mind and know that i'm not harboring any resentment nor dislike.

Sometimes these kinds of things sneak up on you and relationships get out of hand or never become repaired and then something awful happens and it's too late to resolve something that should've been done years ago.  We all go through it - it's part of human nature.  However, this was another wake-up call to keep my grudge list realllllly short and to make amends when possible and if not possible, to at least forgive and move on.  Bitterness and anger and hatred benefits no one, in the end.

Life lessons are sometimes learned in times of struggle and tragedy or even in emergency, thankfully this life lesson was learned for me before it was too late.

May God be with you tomorow, Uncle and guide the surgeon's hands.  i am praying for you.

 

Update:  He made it through the surgery and hopefully will have a good time of recovery.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

These are a few of my favourite things...

If Thursday is my favourite day of the week and October is my favourite month of the year, then what is my favourite colour?

Monday, October 29, 2007

Still a girlie girl

ok..so i know i spend a fair amount of time talking about American-style football on this journal - but truly, i love the sport.  i love the pace and intensity of the game.  i, of course, am an ardent Eagles fan, even while they are not doing so well this season and have particular players of whom i cannot get enough.  i understand the game, thanks to my Father who played in high school, college and semi-pro.  i've been watching since i was a baby...it's in my blood.  i get loud and mean when they do poorly and will scream myself hoarse with joy when they do well.  i watch YouTube clips of Brian Dawkins and my tummy feels all funny - like i've just had my first kiss and i find it hard to breathe because my heart is pounding SO hard.  Had i been a boy, i would've played - hard, all out, with everything i have.

That being said - (which is so funny that i'm writing this while wearing 4" stilettos!) i am such a girlie girl.  i love pretty. i love lace.  i am SO fortunate to own scads and scads of my great grandmother Irish Linens...and handmade things and i dress in skirts and dresses and fuss with my hair and wear makeup and high heels. i love stockings and silk and hot bubble baths.  i love babies and how they smell right after a bath.  i cry easily and have a tender heart and a soul that longs to be loved.  i swoon at good music and strong Men.  i love to cook and bake and read and garden and travel and be pampered and so very girlie.

But man!  i do love football!

 

::grin::

Thursday, October 4, 2007

A To-Do List

Things to do while sick:

1.  Watch every movie in the house

2. Beg movies from the neighbors

3. Give yourself a manicure

4. Cough

5. Dream of a hot bath but realize that you don't have the strength to clean the tub.

6. Read

7. Sleep

8. Cough

9. Try to do some needle work

10. moan and complain about the aches and pains.

11. Cough

 

If you try that fantastic schedule, you will be sure to be feeling better in no time.

Now, please excuse me, i need to cough.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Les Miserables

i really like this quote:

"...Such is a random, superficial picture of the year 1817,now largely forgotten.  History discards nearly all these odds and ends and cannot do otherwise;  the larger scene absorbs them.  Nevertheless such details, which are wrongly called trifling  - there are no trifles in the human story, no trifling leaves on the tree- are not without value.  It is the lineaments of the years which form the countenace of the century."

Everyone's story, their very life counts.  Sometimes we allow the drudge of life to weigh us down and to make us think that we are nothing, not worthy, of no value  - but no, that is not so.  Every moment of our life counts for something.

A good reminder to live each moment well.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Help me choose, please?

In one year and seven months, my birthday will be rather significant (read:OLD) and so, to soothe my poor battered pride and rapidly aging abilities i want to celebrate in a fun way.  This celebration calls for an International Trip.  So, please vote and help me out:

Where should emmasirish celebrate her $*%$th birthday?

1.     Paris, France

2.     Ireland

3.     Australia

4.     Japan

5.     _______ (your choice)

 

Whoever wins the vote can go with me. So vote, vote, vote!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Just a quick something

It's football season again (American football, that is) and my team, the Philadelphia Eagles (No, Wamp...NOT Thugs...Eagles) have not had such a great start to the season...but please don't get me started on that.

What i wanted to say was:

John Runyan and Brian Dawkins make my knees go weak.

 

Go Eagles!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Never Forget

Tuesday, September 11, 2001.  What a gorgeous beginning to the morning.  The week prior and the weekend had been so hot and humid, but that day dawned, in my part of Pennsylvania, as clear, cool with deep blue skies and sunshine that was just perfect.  i remember walking into work, gazing up at the sky and taking in a deep, deep breath of the early morning air.  A perfect day.

How was i, or anyone, to know that less than one hour from then it would not be a perfect day at all.  It would be a hellish, horrible, scary and confusing day.  A day that never seemed to end but with darkness, new fears arose and nightmares had to be conquered.  i don't remember going to bed that night - though i'm sure i must have slept at some time.  The TV was on constantly, flipping from news station to news station, praying that someone had good news...crying...praying more...

And if it was bad for me, for those at the scenes ...well, i can't even comprehend.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007.  It's still dark as i write.  The air is cool but i have no idea what the weather will be.  my thoughts are of another day, not in fear this time, but in quiet remembrance.  i think often of those on Flight 93 who were heroes like none i've even known.  Brave Men.  Brave woman. Did they hope for a chance to survive or did they know?  Did they know and do what they did anyway?  Can you imagine how many lives they saved with their actions?  Has the term "Let's Roll" ever been as precious? 

So many lives, to this day, that are forever changed.  Never forget.

Never forget that all political crap and crud aside we banded, as countrymen, to help each other.  Neverforget the kindness of complete strangers during those days, knowing that your grief was shared by so many.  Never forget the times spent in prayer to God for healing, for understanding, for protection.  Never forget the incredible work of those rescuers...the firemen, the policemen, the rescue dogs, the ones who had to clean up the mess, knowing that they were on sacred ground. Never forget.

Take some time today to go to church or a memorial service or even just to pray quietly.  Reflect on the good things of our country.  Ask for God's continual blessing and protection.  Search your own heart to see how you can make your community a better place.  Go gently today. 

And never, ever forget.

Monday, September 3, 2007

It's a Parade

As i'm typing this, there is a parade going by on the street next to mine.  It's not the best one my town holds but it's a favourite of the children (truth be told, most of the adults too) because all the participants throw tons and tons of candy.  It's one where most of the labor unions walk down and a few bands and of course all the fire, police and rescue vehicles (sirens blaring) from all the neighboring towns.

It's loud, it's fun, it's Labor Day.

Two things that come to mind with this parade - when the National Guard and the Marines march past, not only does one's heart swell in pride for those who serve our country, but also i stop and pray for those in the Persian Gulf as well as those stationed in all parts of the world.  Whether or not one agrees with why they are where they are - they still deserve to be prayed over and for.  That God would keep them safe.  That He would hold them in the palm of His hand.  That they would stick to the code of honor and be ethically prudent when dealing with local people.  That God would heal their wounds as many of them have had to use their weapons - fatally.

The other is all the sirens.  Ever since September 2001, i have viewed those Men and women in a totally different light.  Most volunteer to serve.  Some are paid. my personal view is that they should all be paid somehow because they risk, willingly, life and limb to help others. If you ever find yourself in the misfortune to be in a car accident or have a house fire, nothing looks quite as good or safe as those in the fire trucks and rescue vehicles.  As if one can say in the midst of tragedy:  all will be ok, the firemen are here...or the ambulance arrive...or the police just pulled up.  i've said it before that what breaks my heart the most about 9/11/01 isn't so much the terror -although don't get me wrong - that STILL hurts - but what gets me is how the fire personnel responded.  They had no idea that they wouldn't come down from the towers bringing survivors with them.  How could they know that those strong imposing buildings would collapse?  Yet, i wonder how many would go up KNOWING that they wouldn't make it out?  If they knew they would save others, probably most, if not all, would have done exactly what they did.

This country is far from perfect, we all know that, but there are reasons to be very proud of what she has mothered.

Have a great Labor Day and go enjoy a parade!!

Friday, August 31, 2007

A Child's Love

Today, while i was at work, the phone rang and i answered it in my normal business tone.  i heard, in the background, "Ok, now say 'Hi Auntie'"  and a lovely little voice said just that.

It was the three year old niece.  she was phoning from my sister's house to tell me that she got a card for me (and one for Andrea and grandma and grandpa and great-grandma and Aunt Lynne and on and on).  It was so much fun to talk with her.  i asked her if she knew that Grandma and Grandpa (my folks) were coming down to see her all the way from Pennsylvania and she said "Yes.  Are you coming too?"

my heart about broke.  i can't go.  i'm staying here to care for the younger siblings so that my folks can go.  i wanted to say 'yes' i wanted to say that i'd be right down all the way to Florida just for her. 

But she seemed to understand and seemed happy that i was going to send some e-cards toher (she loved it) and then i got an email from her.  It said:

Dear Auntie:

i love you....that's all

love

(her full name)... 

 

i love you.  That's all.

That's all that needs to be said.  A child's sweet wonderful love.  That's all.

It filled my heart.

Dearest Emma,

i love you too.  You have brought our family so much joy.  You remind me so much of your daddy when he was a little boy but thankfully have alot of your mother's wonderful qualities.  i cannot imagine my life without your sweet face, those Irish blue eyes and those curls that bounce when you run.  i love that you are so girlie but aren't afraid to play in mud puddles or climb things.  You are so very smart and funny and say things that children twice your  age don't understand.

There is so much more to say but as you said.

i love you.  That's all.

Love,

Auntie

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Did you just call me a Diva???

i've had an incredibly stressful but very productive week thus far.  The end is soon in sight and i find myself with a little bit of down time on Thursday night.  i was talking to my co-workers, who are having the same kind of week as i, that on Thursday night, i was going to take a bubble bath, get in between the sheets, with pillows piled behind me and page through the newest edition of Vogue (have you seen it?  it's huge!!!).

my one co-worker looked at me and said, "I don't know.  Sounds like a Diva to me!"

We all erupted into gales of laughter.  i don't think anyone has ever called me a Diva before...but on Thursday - i'm gonna be one!

 

giggles...

Saturday, August 18, 2007

A Taste of Autumn

This morning, i woke early.  i woke because i was slightly cold - the sheet wrapped around me offered little cover for the 64F breeze that was blowing my curtains at almost gale force winds (i take a wee bit of literary freedom here)..but it was chilly.

i looked outside and saw the most brilliant blue skies and early bright sun that gives a prelude for a perfect day.  From what the weather man says, it's only going to be in the low 80's today, with low humidity.  Just like the most perfect October day. 

my cat, Moses, is running from the back of the house to the front - checking out the breeze and if he does a back flip in the dining room, i won't be surprised.  It's amazing to me how weather affects animals almost as much (or more so, if you're a dairy cow) as humans.

Anyway - today...have much to do- and can do it all with a spring in my step enjoying the weather instead of hiding from it.  i feel most alive on days like this.  Reminds of my favourite time of the year: Autumn.

(i'm almost in the mood to have some cider and bake a pumpkin pie...)

Monday, August 6, 2007

Homeward Bound

It's hot.  And humid.  And hazy.  The three "H's" of summer.  This summer has reminded me of summers of my childhood and to say i've enjoyed it, is an understatement.  Even these days where sleep doesn't come easily because these city houses just heat up - like an oven.  The cay-dids (as we've always called them) are singing their pulsing chorus and the thunderstorms are always just on the horizon.

The weekend was incredibly stressful for me - as will be this week.  And leaving work tonight, i felt the tension in my shoulders and a general 'down' feeling. 

So...i decided to be nice to myself and took the long way home.  Off the interstate - not hurling along at 70 mph, but rather around 45mph.  Winding roads through Nolde Forest with all the windows open and one arm completely extended out of the window.  If you've never driven through a forest when the humidity is high, then you won't understand when i say that the drive was an olfactory schmorgasboard.  Pine, decaying leaves, ferns, late blooming flowers, the stream - all contributed to the delights that wafted in the windows.

i immediately thought of home - my childhood home and of long summers spent as a camp counselor in upstate New York.  Freedom.  Had i known then, what i know now about enjoying the summer, i wouldn't do anything differently,except hold on to the memories a bit longer.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I'm Upset

Why on earth did no one, until today, tell me about shoes.com.

Have you seen it?  i clicked on women's pumps and friends, 22 pages of shoes came into view.  Oh.my.word.  All those shoes.....

Shoes for every occasion. Shoes for every outfit. Different pair of shoes for each day.

Kinda makes a girl swoon....

Monday, July 23, 2007

i have a confession...

...i have not read any of the Harry Potter books and i don't have a deep desire to read them.

SHOCK!  HORROR!

but yes, it's true.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Books again..

Finished:

Fourth Dawn

Fifth Seal

The Mill on the Floss

Adam Bede

 

To Read:

Sons and Lovers - Currently Reading

My Antonia - Currently Reading

Pathway to Purpose for Women - Currently Reading

Ines' of my Soul

Sixth Covenant

The Cloister and the Hearth

 

YIKES my book pile is getting dangerously low -must. get. more. books!

 

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

from whence we came - July 4th

Recently, i had the honor of going to Philadelphia and touring Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell and some other historical places.  i remember as a child going through these places, at breakneck speed so that we could get 'to the next thing.' So it was nice to go a bit more slowly as an adult.

One thing that impressed me greatly this time, was the apparent struggle that our Founding Fathers went through BEFORE they decided to declare independence from Britain.  Most, if not all, were considered patriots to the Mother country and in fact, were prosperous men both in Britain and in this new colony.  If you read their words, as they were going through that time, you can sense a deep longing to be free but also not entirely sure that turning their back on Britain was the best thing.  It could've meant total disaster.  It could've meant that Britain would come over and force them back into submission.  They struggled, they debated, they wrote furiously, they pondered, they prayed, they agonized over their decision.

The birth of this country was truly a birth.  Not only because we then had to fight, but because of the labor pains, so to speak, that they went through.  It is also interesting to read Abigail Adams words to her husband.  She would've made a great politician - well thought out words backed with intense passion that these colonies become free.

i wonder if any  of our current leaders, those in the White House, those in the Senate, those in the House, those in local government, those who are 'running' for President - if ANY of them struggle the same way - have the same passion?  Sadly, i'm not sure.

However, for me, when i witnessed those words, those ideas, when i stood in the room where they signed the Declaration of Independence, chills ran up my back.  It is an honor, it is a privilege to live in this country. 

 She is not perfect, but she is a tremendous homeland.

Happy 4th of July!

God bless these United States of America. 

 

Monday, July 2, 2007

Sometimes you just have to know

i refrain and will continue to refrain from making political statements on this blog. That's not what it's about, nor am i going to shove my political thoughts in anyone's face.

However, this man must be read. 

http://www.michaelyon-online.com/wp/category/dispatches/

 

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

i used to live in Paris

Last night, at one of my various jobs, a girl was asking some advise on clothing/shoes from her mother.  i could tell by her choice of clothing that she was going on a trip and they were discussing if she should wear sneakers or what...?  i politely asked where she was going and she said "Italy" and i advised her against wearing sneakers because then she would stick out like a tourist in a heartbeat.

i then said something like "i used to live in Paris..." and went on with my conversation.

Then it struck me.

i used to live in Paris.

Paris, France.

Amazing, wonderful, fashionable, old-world, new beginnings Paris.

 

 

then what the devil am i doing in Pennsylvania???

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Father's Day

So today is Father's Day - a day for some that brings fun and happiness and for others not so much.

i am incredibly grateful to be in the first camp -- and i don't say that glibly nor haughtily.  i have a fantastic Father - one who kept us safe; one who provided well but also taught us the importance of character before possessions; one who is incredibly strong  both physically and in all other ways (he has two weaknesses that i know of:  1. my Mother 2. chocolate chip cookies); a Father who realized that children need to play and make messes and mistakes and talk back and fall on their rump and pull themselves back up; one who has been our biggest cheerleader and most faithful advisor...and on and on.

He is not perfect; He'll be the first to admit, but he is a good, decent, witty, knowledgeable man.  i am proud to be his daughter.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

What is Happiness, Part II?

Happiness is cool summer mornings, complete with a simple breakfast of bread, cheese and tomatoes, and strong coffee.  Happiness is seeing your garden flourish and knowing that your hard work is paying off.  Happiness is looking around your house and seeing order and cleanliness. 

Happiness is having your car not start but having a brother who can fix the problem and get you going again (bringing the 3 yr old bubbly niece with him who thinks it's a riot that she and Daddy are there to rescue Auntie! and liberally declaring Daddy is the HERO when the car starts!)

Happiness is seeing a seven yr old brother reading to the two young nieces and rejoicing in his ability and desire to read. 

Happiness is a phone call from a sister in Florida who says that she is having a good time (she's there for the summer) yet misses you. 

Happiness isn't always about family, or the house, or the garden or the day - sometimes happiness is a choice.  Like when you are working a 70 hour week with an 80 min daily commute and you feel summer slipping away...or when someone you love is going through a very hard time and you are unable to comfort because they are in a different country, or when your car doesn't start and it's almost 10pm and you don't know why and you're dead tired.  Therein also lies happiness, if one chooses to, because things can always be worse and if they're not, that is cause for rejoicing.

Happiness is not a fake smile and a carefree attitude or hiding under the covers (my favourite thing to do when life isn't going well) but it is a choice.

Today, on Saturday the 16th of June,i choose happiness.  i choose joy.  i choose to have a good attitude. i choose to snuggle with that 8 month old baby and play under the wheeping willow tree with the three year old. 

It's going to be a good day.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

A Lesson in Love

my sister in law, i was told before i saw her yesterday, has pink hair.    It's really just one pink stripe and then pink fringes on the back.  She has blond hair and the pink really stands out, nicely.

What would make a grown woman, who isn't into any rocker scene, who isn't a teen trying to express 'herself' do such a thing?  i mean she's a respected woman in the community, is known is many church circles, leads youth with my brother, is involved in plays and musical, has given birth to the two cutest girls in the whole wide world, sells Arbonne, is gorgeous ..so..um..why?  why?????

Well, it's rather simple.  Everytime she goes to get her hair done (coloured, cut, etc) her daughter, the darling three-year old, says "What colour are you going to get your hair done, Mom?" and my sister in law says blonde...as always.  "What colour do you think i should get my hair, E?" and the darling three year old says "Pink!"

So this time, because she is the coolest Mom in the whole wide world and loves her family and is even willing to do something crazy, just for fun with her three year old she now is sporting a bit of pink hair.

Sometimes love comes in all colours

 

Even pink!

Saturday, June 9, 2007

What is Happiness?

Happiness is sitting at the breakfast table with my entire family, all talking at once and laughing and short sentences of "Please pass the Scrapple"  and ""BACON!" and "Who wants pancakes" and "Here's more orange juice" (it was really grape...and that alone produced gales of laughter), and funny stories and sweet fellowship.

Happiness is lying under a tree in the front yard with my 9 month old neice and 17 yr old sister and just enjoying the summer morning.  The baby saying 'Da-Da-Da' and the stories shared with my sister about when SHE was a baby..

Happieness is sitting on a bench under the Wheeping Willow Tree and being told by my 3 yr old neice that she was the Mom and i was the Dad and that a badmitten birdie was the remote control and that we were going to watch "Gilmore Girls" on the pretend TV high in the tree.

Happiness is seeing my sister and sister in law doing dishes and knowing that i didn't have to (HA!)

Happiness is the chaos and confusion, the love and laughter, the joy and hugs and sweet 3 yr old kisses and the golden curls bouncing as she runs outside (she's from Florida and cannot go barefooted outside..when she's at Grandma's here in Pennsylvania, she hardly ever has shoes on!), and baby slobber and a soft head tucked under my chin and little boys laughing and playing ball and the men each on their own laptops while sitting in the same room and X-box tournaments and Parcheesi and puzzles and TONS of food.

i'm all filled up with happiness, and it's only the first day they've been here.

 

Friday, June 8, 2007

Tea

Some of my female co-workers and i just enjoyed 45 min of tea.

We all commented that we should 'do this more often' as it brings us all out of our offices and away from our computers and allows us to connect as women around delicious sweets and a steaming cup of tea.

What is it about having tea that de-stresses one?  i've read somewhere that the simple act or routine of making the tea is what does it, and the hot liquid soothing the stress out of one's throat, not to mention the cookies or tea cakes or scones that delight one's pallette and stomach alike.

Perhaps it's that, in fact, i would embrace that it is, but i also think that there is in us all - even in the craziness of a career and family and other responsibilties - the desire to have the freedom to stop and enjoy tea with other women in the middle of the morning.

Many women, if not all, enjoy things of beauty.  Most of us are too busy to stop and delight in the simple beauties of our life.  But the delicate clatter of a china tea cup against it's saucer, the feel of pressed linen napkins against our skin combined with the delightful tastes and smells of the food and tea calls us to something greater. Something more feminine, softer.  Calls us to laughter and shared stories; celebrations and times of bonding together; calls us to stop trying to rule the world for just a moment and breathe.

 

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Weekend Ramblings

Have you ever had online friends, perhaps some whom you've never met in real time, disappear and you wonder where they went, or if they are ok, or why they just 'left'?

i have a few like that - perhaps that's the ebb and flow of online - but still they have left an impression on my life and they are missed.

So to just a few of them i say,

Trip:  girl, i miss you like mad.  i think you and i were both duped by the famous Irishman or part of his twisted mind, but you are one person who made me laugh out loud for real. i hope everything is ok with you and that your life, whether here or in Tunis is exactly what you want it to be.

John Thankfully i printed out some of our past (three years ago?) IMs - so i have your 'voice' still to see from time to time.  i hope you are ok..truly.  i miss you.  Sometimes i think about the $5 exchange and if i would've actually be able to go through with it.  i think so.  i know what it would've meant and i think ..well, enough said!

Mark:  Did you sail off into the wild blue yonder?  i think hope all is well.  Stairs?  Lunch break?  i miss you...really really miss you.  i hope, though, that wherever you are and whatever you set your hand to do, that it brings you great joy and happiness and fulfillment.  You will never be forgotten.

Blackwolf:  we never did get to dance.  Those were the days, no?  Always asking.  You always saying 'no' - it was expected - everyone knew it - and it was fun.  i hope you are safe and happy and well.

Margie:  Girl, i have NO idea where you went...but i hope you are surrounded by good things, that you are happy in what you're doing, that you have love and life and lots and lots of pastry around you.  i STILL comment on those pretty marzipan fruits and such that you sent (and i ate every single one of them...oh wait, no i didn't ..i DID share..reluctantly!)  i miss the laughter and the fun and hearing about your boytoys. 

There are others - some have passed away andtheir death saddened us all.  Some have chosen to 'leave' aol and their presence is missed.  Some just have moved on, forming new friendships and enriching their lives in other ways.  All are thought of fondly.  All have left their mark on my heart. 

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

How do i sound?

What American accent do you have?

Your Result: Philadelphia

Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

More Reading

Continuing my reading schedule,

Adam Bede

Grace in Thine Eyes

Post Captaiin

Cyrano de Bergerac

Lolita

A Thousand Splendid Suns (which i began last night and just finished - a powerful, powerful book)

i have some books of the 'self-help' variety to read - one helping me to find purpose and some direction in my life and one that helps me to understand others. 

What are you reading?

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Birthday? bah humbug!

It's my birthday and i'll cry if i want to...

erm...i'm not crying but i'm not celebrating either.  i think i'll celebrate when i turn 40.  Of course, that not for another 19 yrs but...ahem....

 

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Did you know...

that the Piano Concerto No2 in C minor, Op. 18 by Sergei Rachmaninov is my ultimate favorite piece of music?

What's yours?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Book list

One of my new year's goals was to read through a list of classics that i have - so i thought (proudly) that i'd share what i've read...that was until i compiled my list:

How Green Was My Valley

Germinal

The Sun Also Rises

For Whom the Bell Tolls

um..that's it. so...i think i'd better GET READING!  sheesh!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Scenes from a Rosey House

Scene 1 (8.35am):

Sleepy woman emerges from cold bedroom.  Sees cat.  Sees dead mouse beside cat. Tries not to scream.  Praises cat for giving mamma a mouse.  Cat looks pleased.  Woman finds a way to pick up (without touching) dead mouse.  Woman puts mouse in plastic bag and discards in garbage can in the sub zero degree morning.  Cat still looks pleased.  Woman feeds cat.  Cat heads to the basement. Woman begins day.

 

Scene 2 (12.45pm):

Woman is on way to work.  Woman hears thumping noises from dining room.  Woman dreads the meaning of thumps. Woman sneaks into dining room and sees cornered mouse, still living.  Woman stands on chair.  Cat looks at woman.  Woman looks at cat.  Cat looks at mouse.  Mouse tries to escape.  Woman screams. Cat pounces.  Cat looks at woman.  Woman yells "YOU'RE the cat.  YOU kill it - that's your job...i'm not the cat."  Cat ignores woman.  Woman descides to leave.  Cat ignores woman.

 

Scene 3(10.00pm)

Woman comes home from work.  Woman gingerly walks through house, flicking on every light in every room.  Woman sees dead mouse on dining room floor.  Woman discards of mouse.  Woamn praises cat who is still in the basement.

 

Scene 4 (3.00am)

Woman is awakened to thumping noises from cat.  Woman says "OH NO!"  Woman waits for 10 minutes then goes downstairs to investigate noises.  Woman sees cat.  Cat looks at woman.  Woman sees living mouse and gets on a chair.  Woman tells the cat to get the mouse.  Woman praises cat.  Mouse runs. Woman stands on chair.  Cat pounces.  Woman discards of mouse.  Cat heads back down to the basement.

 

Scene 5 (3.31am)

Woman sits on bed.  Woman cannot sleep.  Woman blogs about mice.  Woman refuses to go to basement.  Woman wonders how many more mice.  Woman is wide awake and slightly grossed out.  Woman ponders animal life.  Woman likes all animals (except roaches and rats and snakes).  Woman would prefer if mice would take up residence in the great outdoors.  Mice belong outside.  Mice do not belong in woman's house. Woman is glad she has cat. 

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Snowy days are here again...

Hey - this white stuff is pretty cool - ok, not that ice that happened all night long,but the snow. i loved it when i was a kid, love it still.  i love that it covers everything and give the outdoors a fresh, clean look.  i love that it muffles sounds and gives quietness and peace to a typically bustling city.  i love that it brings neighbors out in droves to all work together for a common goal of shoveled walks and unstuck cars.  i love driving in it, purposefully sliding (when safe to do so) or doing a doughnut in a parking lot.

i love the way it falls, silently but relentlessly. i love that when melted, it helps to nourish the earth, bringing moisture to a parched land. 

When i was a child, i was a crazed snow eater. i loved the coldness and sometimes the crunchiness of the ice. 

So today is a day off - meant to be in the house and outdoors with neighbors.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Hungry

i'm hungry for something not yet known.  It's a hunger that reaches deep within me...not a  physical hunger, something deeper.  It calls to me in moments of quietness.  It urges me to acknowledge it, to feed it, to find that for which i'm searching.

i don't know what it is, i don't know where to find it, i don't even know where to start searching.

All i know is that i'm hungry....

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Power of suggestion

Tonight, i helped a very handsome Man decide to buy Gucci's Rush for Men.

i think he knew i really liked it when i said, in a very sultry voice, "Oh yessss..buy that one!"

i hope he comes back so i can smell him.

(i might need a ciggarette and some chocolate afterwards too!)

 

::naughty grin:::

 

 

[that Maude!]

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Have to dance with the Prince

my three-year old niece is a total 'girlie girl'..and very creative as well.

Recently, she was told that it was time to take a nap but she replied to her mother that she couldn't take a nap because she needed to wash her hair so that she could go dancing with the Prince.

Yeah.

Almost three.

i think that's a very creative way to get out of nap time and apparently so did her mother, because E was allowed to skip nap time and take a bath and wash her hair.

Sometimes, just sometimes we women need to take time out to get ready to dance with the Prince. 

Even if we're only almost three yrs old.

(i wonder if it's too early to start her wearing heels???)

What are you wearing?

So...i've smelled some men's cologne over the past few days and found one that goes right to some deep part of me and makes me rather, uh...primal.  Puts me on the prowl so to speak.  Gucci's Rush for Men.  OH. MY. WORD.  RRrrrrrrooowwwwlllll!

Please dear god let more men wear that scent!!!

Or not - they might not want a complete stranger coming up to them and 'smelling' them in the middle of the mall or such!  HA...

 

Ps.smelling is code word for "tackling them to the ground and having my way"

MAUDE!

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Reflections from the Holidays

So many good things happened during the holiday season - here is a small glimpse of our family fun....

 

~Two year old niece, Emma, correcting me that it was 'pull-up' and not 'pull-ups' (because clearly, Auntie, she only had ONE pull-up on)
~Christmas Eve:
    - Bethany and Brianna singing a beautiful rendition of O Holy Night
    -Step In Time (Same 2 yr old niece dancing in the kitchen)
    -Shallon Kicking up her heels during Step in Time
    -Shallon doing the cheerleader pose at the end of prayer (and Dad's face when he saw it!)
    - Warm PJ's that all matched (Three month old niece, Kiera, little ones and how adorable and snuggly she was)
    -Pop-Pop and Em(niece) eating a pound of shrimp before we even sat down to eat
~Christmas Day:
    - Paper everywhere
    - Happy faces and good presents
    - B's face when i said i was buying underwear for the entire family.
    - Just being together - good laughter
    - Missing L and J!!! (Sister and brother in law)
    - Aunt C's good food and the Football game
    - Emma saying "Say 'wear it' Mom" during the grab bag
    - Pop-Pop wearing the tiara for at least an hour during the grab bag
    - Emma and Regan running and screaming and laughing
    - Did i mention the football game?
~After Christmas:
    - Emma clearing her throat and wearing the big 'bosom' poncho while singing, making us all laugh
   - Kiera's snuggly self, the smell of her baby head, her sweet smiles
   - Emma curled up with Pop-Pop on his chair watching TV
   - Emma.
   - Having B and S around - was SO nice!!!! (Brother and sister in law)
   - Packing to go be with Lynne and Jim
   - Spending the 'last night' in the house they built
   - Moving....enough said
   - Spending four hours in L's walk-in closet
   - The peace of havingthe Master Bedroom/Bath cleaned and organized and smelling clean
   - L and her 'black lung'
   - Stripping wallpaper
   - Forgetting what day it was and having paint in my hair
   - Stripping wallpaper
   - L/Js 10,000 lb bedroom furniture
   - Being able to watch part of the Eagles game by the pool (while everyone else was in the house working!)
   - Listening to J drilling something at 3am
   - Stripping wallpaper
   - Calling Dad while lounging in the pool
   - Stripping wallpaper
   - Warm weather in the middle of December
   - A great pilot who landed in the fog
   - Did i mention stripping off wall-paper???