Thursday, May 29, 2008

Dude, Seriously...

What's with all the sneezing and coughing and stuffy nose bit?  Huh?  i've not had this much trouble with allergies since i was about 18 (just two years ago..cough cough).  But for the past week, i've been a regular sneeze machine.  Isn't that a lovely image?  Yeah...that's what i thought.

And the other thing is:  i have been working three jobs(one full time and two part-time) for years.  It's grueling.  For the past three weeks, i've only worked the full time and one part time and ya know what?  i feel human.  i mean really human.  i had time last night after cleaning the house and some other chores to just enjoy the evening.  i was able to talk with neighbors and read a bit and even garden and just putz around the house enjoying the house.  Wow.  Do you think real people do that all the time?  Amazing.  If this trend keeps up, i might feel fully human by the end of summer.

The only thing is the job i've not been doing for the past couple of weeks is being the choir director at my church and let me tell you, that's a hard one for me to let go.  i enjoy the music, i love the people and it's just a fun job.  i've been doing it for about seven years and just feel burnt out..need to be rejuvenated and refreshed.  So i'm pretty sure that i won't be doing it this coming Fall...which is a bit sad for me, but if feeling human and having some time off to enjoy and live life is the 'cost'...well, so be it.

So YAY for summer and a time to relax a bit more.  Yay for gardening and clean houses and a few evenings free.

And double YAY for Bath and Body Works Lavendar Vanilla bath salts.


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen...

...emmasirish is now a whopping 15 lbs lighter.

woooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Doing the happy dance!

Still in a love-hate relationship with the Ellipitical but today's workout was amazing and i could feel the difference in my endurance. A very happy gym day today!


Wednesday, May 21, 2008 save me

i am a huge Rascal Flatts fan.  i like their sound. i like their harmonies. i like the way they play. And i like their songs.  A recent one "Everyday" is just amazing to me because it's hit a strong chord (pun intended) with me.

Life as i know it, isn't always easy.  i, like everyone else, have hard, dark days where i wonder what on earth i'm accomplishing as a human being.  i sometimes wonder if i were to suddenly die, would anyone care, would i leave anykind of legacy, would my life have glorified God, would...would...would.  And there are days (thankfully not many of them) where i feel "NO" is the answer to all those questions.

But then i see my younger siblings and they scream my name and run to give me a hug, or i get an email from my niece, or a thank you note from someone or even an email from a loved One and in all they seem to say "We like you.  you matter to me/us. Don't give up.  Keep the faith."

And it makes all the difference.



Monday, May 19, 2008

Wondering about Spring...

So given that everyone jumped on the Global Warming bandwagon, i assumed that this spring would be hot giving way to an even hotter summer.  We've had summers like that before - where by early May the temperature is in the 80's and then it just gets worse until about mid-October.  And that's what i was the whole Global Warming bit.

So would someone please explain to me why i'm sitting in my house, with a fleece on and a space heater running?  Why when you are outside past oh..say, noon, you have to wear a jacket and why, for all the Global Warming, is the rain that falls not so much a warm gentle May rain, but more like late March early April?

One would think this could be explained..

Um..but probably not by spouting off  "Global Warming" crap, erm.. i meant to say theories.  Yes! Theories..uh huh..that's what i meant to say

Now...where's that hot tea i was brewing - i might soak my feet in it just to bring them back to warmth.



Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Look what i can do!

Recently, i've started waking at 0400.  Yes.  Every day.  Every single crazy day.  my alarm typically goes off at 0430 M-F, but i find that i'm wide awake that 1/2 hour earlier.

Whyyyyy???  i am not a great sleeper - never have been, but for the love of all that is righteous and good must i wake at 4 o'clock in the morning??? There's not even anything exciting going on at that hour.  All the crazies have fallen asleep, no motorcycle/police car chases through the city, no drunks singing love songs as they stagger home, no FedEx deliveries or parades.  Nope, it's very dark and very quiet at that hour.  i know. 

Sometimes i can drift back off to sleep for about 15 minutes but ya know? Why bother.  i'll just feel worse for wear if i do.  So i've been getting up. 

Yeah.  Up and walking around my house at 0400. 

Ain't life grand?


::rolls eyes::

Monday, May 12, 2008

Just Another Day in Paradise

...or more aptly titled: The Gym.

Oh gym, how i love thee

i love that i sweat like a man

and that all my muscles scream in reluctant submission

to the workout of the Elliptical machine

and how when i do the buttocks lifter-thing

i tremble.

Oh gym, how i revel in the smell of the rubber floors

and the showers with the cold water on Monday morning

how i thank thee for the loud music and fans that

don't seem to cool anything down at all.

Oh Gym, what bliss i feel when i look at myself

in the mirror after my workout

and delight in the blotchy pink cheeks and

wild eyes.

What feelings of euphoria!

What delight!

i think i am delusional

and crazy, i just might




Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

Today is a mixed kind of day for me.  i want to honor my mother and let her know how very much i love her and how much she means to me.  i want to tell my friends what great moms they are and how awesome their kids are.  i want to embrace my sister in law and thank her for marrying my crazy wonderful brother and bringing two gorgeous girls into the world, that i get to be Auntie!  i want to even say to the mother's of my adopted sisters and brothers, 'thank you' for not having an abortion...thank you for signing over your parental rights because the children you gave birth to have enriched our family and my own life by measures still unknown.

It's also a hard day for me sometimes as i realize over and over that motherhood is not something i will mostly likely be able to experience (though i've been urged by some co-workers to have a one-night stand and get preganant that way...yean, great plan guys...)


Thursday, May 8, 2008

The love of a four-year old

Dear Auntie,
I am four years old.  I miss you.  I love you so much!  And my birthday was a long time ago.  And I love you.
I love you that you are going to come down.
This is from Emma.
The End.
PS - Ta-da!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What a difference a day makes...

And it's not always good.

i just found out that a good friend from my hometown (small po-dunk town in the middle of Pennsylvania) collasped and died from an apparent heart attack last night.  This is quite shocking.  This woman played a big part in my life as i was growing up, loved to laugh and was practical, yet quite femnine.  i can't put into words at present all that she meant and means to me, only that this news-never pleasant to receive-has not yet sunk in.  i think my Father will be doing the funeral and i'm sure i'll attend, but i don't want to-i want the memories of her to be forever frozen in time and in my mind as she was. 

And on another front, my sister is having a procedure today and we hope and pray that all will turn out well.

So this day, i'm not quite as chipper as yesterday, though i am perfectly healthy and things for me are ok, but i feel bad and a bit low when those around me and those whom i love are suffering.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Monday morning rambles

~Things are good - real good at present.  This doesn't mean i am free from all stress and worry, but i am happy and relatively healthy and the sun shines.

~Not so for the folks in Myanmar - sheesh that's rather devastating and as always, i wish i could help.  The reports at present are 4000 killed and 3000 missing.  That's a lot - a lot of heartbreak and ruin.  And there's a lot of that in this world, isn't there?  Too much sadness and heartbreak and starving and ruin.  Devastation and depression and economic woes  -it's all rather startling and overwhelming.  So what can we do?  Giving to reliable charities is one way, sending prayers, letters and just letting others in need know that someone cares does help and also living our own lives carefully, not in waste.

Living that way is becoming more and more of a passion of mine.  i am not wealthy, not at all, and i struggle with rising prices just like everyone else...but i am determined to live more carefully, wasting precious little, learning to stretch that dollar even further than i do now, taking care of the resources i have.  Will that relieve the world's starving? hmm..not so sure it will, but it might free up some money that a good charity could use, or it might give me the ability to volunteer or something - i don't know.....

~Recent Gym news:  i hit a real groove today just as i hit the 30 min mark.  Previous to that, i had to stop twice just to rest (about 30 seconds each time) but when i hit that 30 min mark, i was cruising.  Why is that?  Needless to say, i stopped and did some arm weights but i'm going to see on Wednesday if that happens again.

~When one's alarm clock goes off at 0430 and one is sleeping the wrong way on her bed (across the top), one can get disoriented very quickly when one is reaching for the bed-side table and all one finds is the wall.  Just saying...

~Men.  If anyone knows me for more than 10 minutes, it will probably be apparent that i think Men are terrific.  Not without spot and wrinkle and not all men are worthy of such high admiration (i'm thinking crooks, thieves, rapists..really bad guys, not so much the average dude), but for the majority,mmm it's all good.  Know what i really like about them?  They are so different from me.  Well..hopefully anyway.  :grin:  There's more to be said on this subject but see next point

~Work.  i need to get to work.  Like now. 

Thursday, May 1, 2008


isn't it always true that when you have something big going on, you wake up to a huge blemish on your face?

yeah...great...ok, it's not huge but it wasn't exactly the birthday present i was hoping for.

At work today - my dept is responsible for a huge awards ceremony.  Every year it produces a fair amount of stress and this year is no exception.

And it's my birthday - a May Day baby...tied to the earth by the day of my birth.

And yes, i'm 29.  And will be next yr also.