Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Is she or isn't she?

Out of sheer rebellion, i'm wearing a pant suit to work today.  Granted it's a nice silk chocolate brown one but pants nonetheless.

Also a disclaimer.  Someone recently read this blog and said that i sounded like i like the ladies..meaning i'm gay.  i would like to say that while i think women and their bodies are amazing and i enjoy the company of women immensely (need those girlfirends and sisters), that men are the cat's meow and where i prefer to uh...well...nevermind..:::blush::
Sorry, but i'm not gay. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Sing baby, sing and dance too

i have had the privilege of singing in a community choir which is associated with my workplace.  This is in addition to all my other things that seemed crammed into my life.  However, we are performing the Messiah this weekend and tonight is the dress rehearsal.  There are loosely 120 voices and we've been practicing for the past two months to ready ourselves for this occasion.  What a joy to lift one's voice up and sing with others who share the same passion for music as i.  And our conductor is a hoot!  He's a rather interesting man - funny, intelligent, eclectic, talented - everything a conductor should be.  i've not sung in such a choir for a while and it's been great fun and good discipline to get back into it.  So tonight is the end of practice and i must be honest in saying that i'll miss the fun and work.

Don't know what i'll do with my Tuesday nights now though - maybe take up basket weaving? Knitting?  Sheep shearing?  hmm....or maybe i'll just perfect the art of the three hour bubble bath!

AND something i forgot...i was invited to attend the Christmas dance at the studio where i take lessons.  It's by invitation only, from what i understand and i'm honored to have been asked.  However, i'm in a bit of a panic as i've only ever danced with my instructor and what if i'm asked to dance and the man knows some other step and i end up in a heap on the floor?  OR worse yet, what if no one asks ...AND i have nothing to wear to this thing...AND i'm excited yet petrified and i should've said that i was unable to attend AND i'm not ready = i've only had four lessons and can only do basic steps and for goodness sake why did i say 'yes'?  HELP!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Just stuff

i come from a large family.  There are eight children.  It's a nice, noisy, loving, laughing family.  But our ages range from me (who shall ever remain 29) to a six yr old.  Fun. 

my 16 yr old sister has a boyfriend.  A nice guy, thus far.  Tall - 6'3" (yum!), cute kid.  Poor thing has almost met the entire family and gets drilled from all angles.  What you guys go through sometimes....<grin>

And it made me think of when i was boyfriend was 18 and we had a great relationship.  Lived in the sticks but had fun nonetheless.  One of my dates with him was to go with his brother and girlfriend and the four of us went up into the mountains to shoot 'pop' cans.  Yes, shoot.  With guns.  Rifles.  A hand gun.   Yes, me.  All dressed up (not in a skirt though) and shooting guns....And we were very careful and not stupid, just practicing. (by the way, i'm not a bad shot) For our date.  ROFL...oh man, what a time!  What a life! 

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Day

Happy Thanksgiving (if you're in the U.S.)

Happy Thursday (if you're not!)

For me, this is my favourite of all holidays.  i am blessed to have an amazing and fun family.  AND there was enough asparagus for all....

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


So which is more embarrassing::

1.   Choking up while talking with the oil dispatcher because they can't make a delivery until Monday and i have guests coming tomorrow and my oil tank is quite low.
2.   Crying outright when the accounts manager called back and says they will be there first thing on Friday and that she was calling me because the oil dispatcher was very concerned about me.

(ok, so i'm a emotional female - but it was so kind of them to get the oil to me early...and yes, i do normally check the tank more frequently, but i had other things going on for the past three weeks...)        

Edit:  when i got home just a bit ago - there was evidence that the oil guy had been there - and they filled my tank.  Kindess and good customer service can sometimes make someone's day. Excuse me while i go cry one more time. 


Monday, November 21, 2005

If you can...

...find the recording of Gabriel Faure's Pavane, Opus 50,  with the BBC Philharmonic.

It is breath-takingly gorgeous.

i first heard it performed in a Parisian metro..and wept (i was weepy anyway because i was about to come home in three days' time) for the beauty of it.  Music for the soul.

Nuther Football Post

Soooo....hmm...the Eagles...well what can i say? To lose to the Giants??? The arch-rivals?  Eagles fans are typically taught from early on that the Giants and Cowboys are fierce foes, and while individual players may be admired from afar - never, ever root for them and in fact, a deep dislike is preferred.  ::sigh::  And Trotter's injury - not good.  But there were some awesome blocks from the offensive line and Westbrook was all over the place and who can say enough about Lewis' one-handed catch or the defense and dang but McMahon can throw bullets and run and leap and take hits and jump right back up (wonder how he's feeling today...<yikes>) - grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr to this loss.

What is it about football that i enjoy so much?  i've wondered that often.  Maybe because i've been watching since five months old?  Maybe the sheer competition?  Maybe the exciting plays and tension?  i'm not a statistics junky, i can't tell you the numbers that each player wears, sometimes i don't even know the names of the new guys for months, that is all unimportant...but i do know great block, i can pick out holding and clipping, i get crazy excited with a break-away run or a "Hail Mary" pass...when B.Dawkins comes out of nowhere and bats down balls or makes a block that rattles teeth, or Kearse, or Trotter...i can holler with the best of stomach tenses when Westbrook is plowing through a pile o'guys and when McNabb or McMahon are scrambling i'm usually saying "look out, look out"...LOL..crazy.  Who knows.


ps: it's nice that the Eagles have two QBs with Irish last names...


Friday, November 18, 2005


i love this the tingling feeling my face has when i come indoors...i love the smell of the leaves on the ground...i love the blue sky and bright sun...i love the chill of the wind as it and the exhilerating feeling it gives...that cold, fresh air - good air to clear the lungs...i was visiting my folks last night and my lil sister (15 yrs old) was making chocolate chip cookies...i love that smell...i love the fact that she's learning to bake and becoming accomplished in the kitchen...i love seeing the look of happiness on her face when she's told that they are delicious...i love coming into a house and feeling the warmth - a big contrast from the outdoors...i love warm wool socks and thick sweaters....i love the smell of wood smoke in the air....i love a nice cozy fire in the fireplace....i love a room lit with candlelight....i love putting up white chiristmas lights...i love Thanksgiving and all the nosie and fun that goes with it....i love the fact that the children and teens in the family eat all the asparagus and we adults have to fight over six little pieces....i love the laughter of my family...i love the sounds of the football game...i love Dark Chocolate Wilbur Buds...i love listening to stories and jokes and bad puns that are always prevelant around the tables....i love family who travels from Florida to be 'home'....i love this time of the year, it is by far my favorite. 

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Ramblin' again

i've been giving a lot ot thought to my life recently - which may or may not be good...depending on the day. One thing that i've realized, and come to appreciate, is that sometimes we don't know our own inner strength until we're put through or going through a difficult time in life.  Bad things happen, it's just part of life.  But how we (read: i) deal with those things shows the true inner woman, does it not?

Something i've noticed is that i tend to 'flip-flop' between extremes at first and then gently settle down to a nice medium after time and thought have been given to the situation.  For instance, if i have my plans set in one direction and they are suddenly changed, i typically don't react well.  i go from 'i'm never doing that again" to "i'm going to do that at the first chance i get" and then typically settle down to "when and if the chance arises, i will look into doing such and such"...lame example, i think but it's just how i react...and i'm trying to hone in on the more middle ground as my initial reaction.  That is not an easy thing.  i would like to gain some ground in that area before my planned pre-mid life crisis... ( which, by the way is planned for May 2006 - so mark your calendars...)

Anyway, i think my struggle is that i'm trying to find a good balance and be able to live life gracefully and graciously.  With my passionate nature (cough, cough) that's not always an easy thing to accomplish - but it is at least an honorable goal.  You can always pick out those older women  who have lived such a life.  They are always quick to forgive, easy spiritied, think before speaking (my worst fault), have an easy smile that includes everyone, generous in their love and time, yet not easily taken advantage of, nor bowled over by life. i guess while living for today, i'm trying to prepare for the future - my future - so that i don't end up one of those old, shriveled bitter women who have nothing good to say about anyone. 

So here's to learing more aboutliving and doing it well.  Here's to gracious living and a generous spirit.  Here's to a good balance in on'e reactions.  Here's to making each day count.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

A simple meal

The candles were glowing, china sparking and the silver just right.  Beautiful.  Delicious smells from the kitchen and soft music said that this was not going to be just an ordinary supper - the table was set for more than the normal one - and there was a feeling of expectancy in the air.  she moved from room to room double checking everything - from the placement of the candles to the level of warmth.  Everything was in place and she was ready to receive her guests.

They were going to celebrate Thanksgiving - yes, a few weeks early but it didn't matter for these guests had never celebrated such a feast and it was her honor to help them learn a tradition that was very dear to her heart.  her guests came from all over the world: Australia, Austria, Germany, Mexico, Columbia and Equador.  Six beautiful women, one from each country, were living in the States for at least one year and were part of an Au Pair Exchange program. 

The first to arrive was the German, with her slight Berlin accent to her perfect English noticeable as she apologized for being late(she was right on time).  Then came the Australian and Austrian.  And lastly the three Latinas - shorter, darker - full of passion.  They all brought a dish from their own country - some of them spent hours making tortillas and salads and strudel.  They laughed and got all the food on the table, including the turkey and stuffing that she had made for them.  They tried all the dishes (even a bit of Veggie Might) and declared everything delicious.

And as she looked around the table, candlelight glowing off of each face, she felt a twinge of something not quite known.  These girls, some of them only 19 yrs old, so far from home, so full of hope.  Lives left at 'home', loves, pets, siblings, parents...and yet in this small space of time, they were a little family of women, sharing a meal, learning a very American tradition.  she felt so fortunate, so very fortunate to be part of their lives.

her Thanksgiving memories are so strong and wonderful.  So many relatives gather around similar tables, children laughing, everyone eating and declaring 'not another bite' as they reach for just one more slice of that cranberry bread.  Laughter has always been in her life as well as love, family, hopes and dreams and are they not all summed up in Thanksgiving?  Is Thanksgiving not a time where one can take a few minutes to reflect on all that has transpired throughout the year and give thanks? 

And she is thankful.  Thankful to be alive.  Thankful to have a house and a job.  Thankful for friends and family who love and care for her. 

she will attend the tradtional Thanksgiving meal in a few weeks, but she doesn't think it can top the one she had tonight.


Friday, November 11, 2005

i'm a sickie...sick, sick, sickie (hmm...SNL perhaps?) 

OH and dance lesson last night was wonderful - although i wasn't feeling good at all, it was so nice to learn new steps - we did the foxtrot, rumba, fun is that?  Jerry's wife teaches couples and so we were all in the same ballroom together - and it was great..this couple hasn't been dancing long but they are doing a good job - the wife looks great - has the hip action and is graceful...and the man is pretty good too...and then i was - learning the first steps to the foxtrot!  LOL  but in my defense it was only my third lesson, so i'll not be too hard on myself (just yet)...and i'm able to talk to Jerry while we're dancing without stepping on his toes.  He is SO encouraging...and funny as well...and that helps.  He told me if i'm going to mess up - make it big! 

i love watching us dance in the mirror - not because i'm enamoured with myself, but because i can see our feet/legs and i am amazed when mine are in time with Jerry's!  It's quite fabulous darling.

He also told me that he teaches an 80 yr old woman!  She's been taking lessons for five years (!) and is pretty good and loves to do the rhythmic dances (latin based ones)...can you imagine?  i love people like that - who aren't afraid to take a chance and do something new and fun.  Sometimes when you take a chance, you lose, but sometimes, just sometimes, those chances turn into a dance!

ps.  Jerry also mentioned my shoes - i've been learning to dance in 4" heels..and the norm for practice shoes for women is about 2 - 21/2...hmmm..

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Dance baby, dance

So tonight i have my ballroom dance lesson.  Yes me...ballroom dancing.  i know, i know, i'm not the most graceful woman on the planet but honestly, this is so much fun. My instructor is about 70 yrs old and about a foot shorter than i, but he can whirl me around like a top!  And i only stepped on his toe once (and was mortified!) and i'm getting better and he says i'm a natural (HA!) and it just feels so nice and girlie to be dancing....

My instructor, Jerry, said that there are more men taking ballroom dance lessons as well, ever since the movie "Shall We Dance" came out!  Men who would normally pooh-pooh such things are realizing that women want to be romanced via dancing and it IS a terribly sexy thing to know that a man can 'take charge' and lead you around a dance floor.  ::sigh::  i personally love the movie 'The Tango Lesson' is highly romantic and the music and dancing are just superb...and maybe, just maybe there is a fantasy in me that is lived out in the last scene...where the gal is dancing with three men..passed from man to man but the ultimate one who loves her is the one who 'keeps' her...hmmmm......

Wednesday, November 9, 2005


Sick.  Coughing.  Sniffling.  Headache.  Body aches.  Sore throat.

ohhh...don't i look pretty.....



Tuesday, November 8, 2005

RANT: Eagles Football and other things- Ramblin'

Ok, here's a rant:  T.O -Philadelphia Wide Receiver....

What the heck is the deal with this guy?  He is so very talented and a hard worker and yet, he had the maturity of a gnat.  i have only one claim to fame...i've served hamburgers and other lovely Burger King fast food to Hugh Douglass - when Hugh played for Central State and saw first hand that Hugh is a big man.  He was a big man in college.  T.O is a complete idiot to start something make insult.  Throw him out on his ear...and H.D should've done it.

i'm in complete disgust with most of the team and certainly the ones who make the decisions to cut guys, etc.  Last year they had such a tight team - leadership was prevelant, good players who had the 'fire' to win, strong men (shiver) and yet this year, they play no better than the local high school team?  What the heck is up with that? 

i was impressed with T.O when he first joined the team - he did work hard, he made plays happen, he did a good job...not to mention that he has one buff...oh, nevermind....

So give him the boot.  He'd better leave Philly in a hurry - Eagles fans aren't exactly known for being genteel and forgiving!  (i think Wamp calls us 'thugs')  And for pity's sake, don't pick fights with a man who used to bench press Burger King workers after practices...sheesh.

(ps.  there are also those who shine on the favorite being B.Dawkins...what a guy.....)

Edit:  and i just saw that Ackers (kicker) has been given an extension...SWEET...

Edit 2: i'm just a chatty Cathy today....

Sooooo yesterday i wore dress pants to work....first time...ever...and cause a small riot on campus as well as in my neighborhood.  Nothing superb about them- just nice black dress pants - wore the cutest lil boots...  When i got home - was talking to my neighbor and in mid-sentence he yells, "OH MY WORD!  YOU"RE WEARING PANTS!"   Guess then everyone heard him and had to comment/look/point/stare....think i'll stick to skirts/dresses!  LOL  Sheesh!

Monday, November 7, 2005


So i had a great weekend, all things considered.  Was in New, not running the marathon, but visiting with a dear friend.  Spent some time outdoors, leaves crunching underfoot - that delicious smell of autumn, warm sun, cold nights...can't beat it.  Reminds me of my childhood - grew up on the side of a mountain in central PA, spent many days tromping through the woods...

..and i'm still tromping through the woods...woods of adulthood- i think i'm going to plan a pre-mid life crisis..though it's not quite as effective when it's planned, i'm afraid.  But sometimes these 'woods' get me down - when i take stock of my life thus far - not exactly where i want to be ...and so i need to dig in and make happen those things that will prevent me from a real mid-life crisis...'s to strapping on some hiking shoes and walking through this part of my life.  Here's to digging in and making happen those things that i want and need.  Here's to enjoying life to the fullest and taking lifes' blows square on, but recovering from them with grace. 

Here's to forgiveness and mended relationships. 

And here's to being kissed by a stranger....

You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Simple Things

"'Cause i dream of simple things i can believe in
Like the feeling this day brings
True love and the miracle of forgiving
i believe in simple things..." 
(Amy Grant)

i like simple things.  i like the smell of the leaves under my shoes as i walk.  i like the city early in the morning.  i like when my house is clean and at rest.  i like hot tea and cookies shared with a friend.  i like laughing with girlfriends over some silly thing.  i like quiet evenings reading a book that expands my mind.  i like shoes.  i like all things girlie and pretty.  i like strong Men.  i like honesty.  i like candlelight.  i like flowers.  i like to make people happy and smile.  i like music.  i like catching a man's glance and blushing.  i like smiling.  i like the freedom that forgiveness brings.  i like clean sheets.  i like lavendar scented bubble baths.  i like to be kissed...deeply.  i like warm October days and cold nights.  i like snuggling under the covers.  i like the feeling when i first wake up - body warm and relaxed, nose cold, cat purring in my ear, cat scratching my arm, cat...OK, OK- i don't like that (darn cat).

In this complex world, with all the stress and confusion that life brings, the simpler things keep me grounded. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2005 the lil boys come undone...

Black knee-length flouncy skirt: $49
Sheer stockings:  $16
Black 4" heeled shoes: $65
Seeing a lil college boy watch you walk from accross campus:  Priceless


ps. i don't attend college, i work at one....