Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hey! Hey! Whadda ya say?

In a zaney crazy mood. It's a decent day and i'm happy. i'm alive and able to walk and think and just be me. Every day is a blessing, everything i have or own is a gift. i get so overwhelmed with the devestation of Haiti so i limit all reading to just one blog and that has helped tremendously. i am just so grateful to be.

AND on facebook, i just uploaded all the recent books (since starting facebook not all the ones i own) and am up to 115 books - most of them read, i think my 'to read' list is about only at 11 books...that's not bad, eh? Problem is, i'll be through that list in no time and then will have to take the time to find more. Oh well...not complaining...actually quite happy about that 'problem' as well!

It's just a very good day. i'm choosing happiness today!

PS...NOT to worry - i just found eight more books to add to my 'want to read' list. How awesome is that????

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Never know how blessed you are....

....until you read/hear about Haiti's earthquake and how utterly devastating it was and continues to be. i know that country is a 'mess' to begin with but this just adds so much to it - horrible actually.

And out of this rubble comes support from all over the world. This country sending rescue dogs, that country sending canned goods and medicine, another one sending nurses, and yet another sending teams of engineers and trying to repair phone lines. And it kinda warms your heart - because though there is ALOT of evil in this world and even in this tragedy there will be many who will profit or pilfer or do more harm-evil is like that-there is also a vast amount of good. Many people who are praying, imploring Heaven to be merciful to those folks, to help them find survivors and to comfort those who's lives have just be torn apart. There are vast amounts of people who will give donations, even in these times of recession, there are those who will take vacation early, or a leave of absence and provide medical care or engineering help or will make soup for hours on end, or pass out bottles of clean water...

And it makes me realize, yet again, that i am a blessed woman in so many ways. i don't live a perfect, trouble-free life, but i am blessed..

...and incredibly thankful!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Let's talk about love, baby...

Love. It's a rather important aspect of life. Without it humans can literally die. When we receive love, it's amazing how we it affects our lives. When we give love, however, sometimes it's thrown back in our faces or rejected and sometimes that makes us question alot.

i love my sister. i love her because she is my sister as the very basic reason and for so, so many other reasons in between. i also like her - alot.

i don't agree with her choices and now, after only 48 hours, she is making some of those same horrible choices. And that hurts so much - not because she's done anything to me - after all, it's her life and her choices as well as her consequences. But it hurts because she deserves and can do so much better. And she's chosing not to.

But i love her more...and although my love may not ever be enough to help her (not, it will never fail or falter.

After all, God loved me uncondionally and requires me to do the same to others (the second greatest commandment). If 'others' is my sister, how much greater should that love be?

Thursday, January 7, 2010

i want to do what is right

i want do the right thing. It doesn't have to be the popular thing or even the easy thing, but the right thing.

Back in early December i wrote that i had helped a family member escape an abusive situation. Now that family member, my sister, is coming back to the area against all family counsel (and her lawyer's as well). If she were acting alone and with only herself in mind, i would be prone to 'live and let live' and let her find out, even through the hard knocks of life, the path that she is to take and how God wants her to live. However, there is a five month old child involved in all of this and as anyone knows, that changes everything.

So i've said she can live with me for now. And i'm struggling to not feel depressed that it's all going to end badly and i'm inviting more turmoil into my home and life vs. wanting to be her cheerleader, helping when and where i can and backing off when i should. i WANT this to end well. i WANT her to grow and mature and be a wonderful mother and provide a stable envirornment for that baby (who, of course, is the cutest happiest baby in the world). i WANT her to follow God's path for her life and not just live for herself. i WANT her to succeed and get through these turbulant years.

But i'm not sure it's gonna happen.

So....i am going to do what i truly feel is the right thing to do for now. And then we'll just have to wait and see how things play out. i'm not a victim and never will play that part so if things DO get out of hand, i will be tougher than a Marine drill sgt. (oh yes i will...make no mistake about that!) and said sister will know that up front.

i'm still sick and still not sleeping before 3am - awake, tense, listening for any would-be intruders. Blech -i'm so done with that in the day time, but when i get into bed, everything changes. So stil working through alllll of that junk.

A lot on my plate right now.

Hope i can do it well.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Well Happy New Year to me and Odds/Ends celebrate this auspicious occasion of 2010 - i have formally come down with some sort of cold and/or flu. my throat is killing me and i feel real fuzzy in my head. Oh the joy. The stupid part is that i had 12 days off of work for the holidays and on the very last day, Sunday, is when i got sick. How dumb is that? Not very good planning on the part of my body.


my favorite football team, Philadelphia Eagles, had a horrible game against the hated Dallas Cowgirls on Sunday - adding insult to my already injured flu-stricken body.


Funny conversation:

On Sunday i went over to my folks' house to watch the above game and...

Me: OH Wow! Facebook has a Shoe Society
Dad (looking up from the book he was reading): Who is that?
Me: no..not a who, a what. A Shoe Society...that's so awesome. Where you can learn more about shoes and get great deals and see the latest styles...
Dad (very quizzical confused look on his face): I don't understand your words. I don't understand what you are saying.
Me: That's ok Dad...that's the way it's supposed to be.....

Friday, January 1, 2010

Resolutions, anyone?

Long ago i gave up the notion that making New Year's Resolutions was a good idea. Mostly becuase by February, i was unable to even remember half of them or see the reason why i should follow through. So i don't do them anymore.

However, this year, i have a few projects in mind..things that i really want to accomplish.

Most of these projects revolve around my home and they are:

1. Repaint living room and get new lighting fixtures
2. Repaint foyer
3. Repaint front door
4. Repaint kitchen and get new flooring
5. Totally redo dining room, new light fixture and new window treatments
6. Remodel bathroom
7. Work on making basement less damp and scary.

And that, my friends should take me well into this new year. The biggest project, of course is the bathroom - although mine is tiny...and i truly mean tiny. i'm not getting new bathtub/sink/toilet, but the fixtures need to be changed as do the walls and the window needs some help. It should'nt be too costly but i've never done a bathroom before so.....

oh and there's a leak somewhere on my bathtub - i believe it's in the shower pull up thing-y.

So if you can't find me - look somewhere either in Lowe's or Home Depot in the paint section, or find me on a ladder in my 1st floor.

Happy New Year to me!!!!