Just a few minutes ago, i shut off the heater and locked the doors and on my way upstairs, with Celtic Women music softly wafting from my sitting room, i realized: It is gonna be ok.
i checked on the baby, she was soundly sleeping--put her into her sleeping bag and closed the door a bit and heard her sigh. i stood in the doorway for a minute,remembering bed time when my sister (mother of the baby) and i were playing with her earlier in the evening...she was surrounded by her books and softly "reading" to herself (she is 15 months old) and then her soft kisses to Auntie just before her Momma put her to bed and i realized: It is gonna be ok.
And it is very possible that i will lose the house and we will have to find another place to live, or that a miracle could happen and we will be here for a while longer and even in that i realized: It is gonna be ok.
And now i am in my bedroom, about to turn in for the night, the house is still and cooling (making my bed a welcome cocoon), and i feel a deep peace that although the things that have been dragging me into depression are still factors in my life and i still do not have a job and there is still quite a bit of stress attached to things now i realized and realize and hope to continue to realize: It is gonna be ok.
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid....John 14:27