Another shoe man in the making

Just a few minutes ago, i was leaving church, walking down the steps to exit the building and at the bottom of the steps was a group of children.  They were between the ages of 5 and 9 or so.

i was walking down carefully, in my 4" shiny patent leather shoes and noticed that one little boys' eyes were rivited to my shoes. Not to me, not to my legs or skirt, but only my feet.  And i wondered what was going on in his little head.  Had he looked at me -i would have given him an understanding smile because i love to look at them too and understand the attraction to a pair of shoes, but he never lifted his eyes.

And as i've stated before, i hope that when he grows up, the love of his life will wear shoes for him that are pretty on her and that make him stare in love and lust for her.

i so love being a woman!

Yikes!

We're under a tornado watch here in my little city in Pennsylvania.  The wind is blowing quite hard and the much needed rain is pelting my freshly washed windows! (grrrr)

Emotional ...

In honor of  "Pats" going to the Gulf and those who will go with him....

(beware - emotional clip)

http://objflicks.com/GladiatorAmericanStyle.htm

Ramblings

my work ethic took a day off today and forgot to inform me.  grrrr - i'd rather be home, curled up on the couch while reading. 

A friend from the chat room is leaving for the Persian Gulf today.  Thoughts and prayers are with him.  He will be missed - espcially around football season (who is going to monopolize the conversation and make us talk about football for days and days and days?  grrrr)

Had a wonderful lazy weekend.  Boy did i need that.  Cleaned and read.  That's it. (oh yeah and cooked and re-orgainzed some things and ....)  But it was wonderful.  Though it makes today very difficult.

Gas prices are killing me.  Don't have a terribly long commute (40 min) but it's not fun.  i really wish we had a better public tranportation system everywhere in the country, not just the big cities.  That is something i truly miss about France/Europe.

Reading Suite Francaise - great book to read, not so great for my longing to be back in Paris.

Good friend of mine is in the hospital ..grrr...i'm so sad for him.  But he knows we are pulling for him and that he'll recover and get through physcial therapy with flying colours.

New pair of heels are coming to me this week.  Very Marilyn Monroe-ish..gorgeous, can't wait.

Did i mention my work ethic has taken a vacation day?  hmm...

Maybe another cup of coffee will help!

Beware: Rant Ahead (not pretty)

..sick of the 'poor me' attitude.  i'm tired of the victim mentality.  i get weary of hearing  'i can't take one more thing.'  i try to be compassionate - i really do, but i'm tired of it.  There is always someone worse off than you. 

Deal with it. 

Life isn't always easy but your attitude can help you get through it. 

Good grief, you're a grown woman, so act like it.  You're not some sniveling child, nor a naive teen; you've had children, many of them; you have a husband who loves you and has a decent job; you own a lovely house; you have two cars; you are not terminally ill;  you are smart and funny; you are attractive in many ways, including physical; you have alot going for you.

You wonder why i don't come around to spend time with you?  i can't take it anymore.  i have my own stuff to deal with and try to do so with a good attitude and happiness.  You drag me down.  You make me want to move far away.  Stop acting like everything should be handed to you on a silver platter.  Stop moping around.  Depressed?  Seek help. Angry?  Work out.  Eat better.  Take your dang blood pressure pills. 

You fuss about your gorgeous teenaged girls like you hate them.  i'm sick of that too.  Do you realize that i may never be granted the beauty of children and when i have to hear you go on and on about them, i could honestly reach out and hit you...hard.

Grow up.

i love you now and always will, but i don't like you very much right now.

i'm done.

Rambling words

i'm in an odd mood of sorts.  Partly because some of the intense stress of March and April is gone.  Partly because i seem to have a new focus on life.  Partly because it's Spring and all things are new - including attitudes. 

Here's an odd thing - for four months, i purposedly had my cable turned off.  i didn't miss television one bit.  There were times, i guess, that i could've used the mindless chatter to help me wind down, or times when perhaps a good documentary or movie was on and it would've been nice to see but... all in all, i didn't miss it. 

i'm having it re-installed - because i need the dsl (for my aol addiction and for business). i wonder how i will react to the stupidity that is handed to us on a daily basis.  i'm no snob - not at all - nor a great intellectual - but honestly, some of the shows that are on are just rubbish.

i've been, instead, burying my sweet lil nose and mind in books.  Re-reading some old favourites and discovering some new ones.  my dear friend and (((((((((((Sister))))))))) gave me two recent recommendations and i bought them both trusting her judgement.  Sure enough, as i delved into one (Balzac and The Little Chinese Seamstress) last night, i once again was grateful for her knowledge and insight.  She also sent me two others last year or so and they were winners!  (thank you sister!!!!)

Which brings me to this:  good friends are treasures.  Those who take time to get to know us - deeply and richly with all our prickles and rough edges - are pure gold.  Those who provide stress relief or an undersatnding mind or a hug (cyber or real) are considered, to me, amoung the best of mankind.

And those who make us (read:me) laugh - well they have a special place in my heart - because, if you know me, you KNOW i love to laugh.

It hurts...

Today is the kind of day you spend dreaming about during the winter.  The sky is a deep blue, not a cloud in sight.  The sun is bright and warm.  The breeze is soft and a little cool.  Different shades of green meet your eye and go right to the 'pleasure' part of your brain, while you try to comprehend the magnificent colours of trees and flowers; shrubs and bushes.  It is so beautiful that is causes you to ache inside.  Not sure why, not a terribly painful ache, but it hurts...just a little. 

How can we, fallible humans, be allowed to enjoy such beauty?  How is it possible that the bleak grayness of this past winter has given way to such wealth of colour and we are able to enjoy it?  What gives us permission to bask in this springtime glory? 

Makes me feel insignificant and small...but also very content and peaceful.  Today is the kind of day that i wish to be outdoors until the sun sets, walking in freshly greened grass or lounging on a blanket enjoying a picnic..

The forecast for the weekend is supposed to be the same as today.  i hope it is.  Three days of fantastic Spring.  So beautiful....it hurts.

Good time of the year to be born.