Amost a week

At 2am on Tuesday it will be one week since someone thought they would help themselves to the contents of my house, or even me. To say it's been an easy week would be a gross understatement. Quite the contrary, it's been very difficult but i'm trying to work through all the feelings of fear and let my life get back to where it was.

Some baby steps forward: For the past two nights, i've slept at home in my own bed. Of course, i've not fallen alseep until after 3am but still...in my own bed. Previous to that i slept on the couch and then a couple nights at my folks' house 'for the Christmas celebrations' (as i liked to call it...it was, rather, me just being scared).

Tonight, i am going to try to sleep in my own bed, well before 3am and with the bathroom light off instead of on. Another baby step forward.

my house has been made more secure but the feelings of fear keep gripping my heart and it's quite horrible, i assure you. Perhaps if this was the first time something like this happened to me, i'd be a bit faster on the recovery side. Howerver it's the fourth. Car stolen twice and now house broken into twice.

And then of course i wonder why me? i've known lots of folks who go their entire life without either of those two incidents every happening to them. So why do i have to go through this experience? i know that most experiences in life can make you stronger and if you take the time to learn from them, wiser. i try to live that way.

Except this time i just don't understand why my card keeps getting called...and maybe i'm never to know why but i assure you it brings all kinds of emotional crud to the surface and makes me feel ever worse about the person i must be that all this stuff keeps happening to me.

Not fun.