Hmm...just realized a bit ago that because my own problems, lack of work, possible losing of my house, family issues and all that goes with that, have loomed so large in my mind, i have totally lost my global focus.
my desires, prayers, concerns and worries have, of late, all been about ME. ME ME ME ME...
ugh. That, in reflection, grosses me out. Like totally...with a trailer hitch...or a spoon.
i have always desired to have a global focus in my life. What that means to me is that though i take care of the home front, i know what is going on, basically, in the world. There are friends, workers, missionaries, dignitaries for whom i pray that i also know what is going on in their world. Blogs that are read to keep me up to date with situations in foreign places...places that have suffering people, or, on the flip side, prosperous people, about whom i have interest. i enjoy that. It keeps me humble and able to focus not on me, but on others.
But.....i realized about 1/2 hour ago, with total conviction, that i have been wearing backwards reflectors. Ewwww....that means that all i see is me. my problems, my issues, my complaints, my stress, my lack of money, or lack of work, my relationships that need to be mended, my lack of patience and gentleness sometimes, my worry about the niece, my, my my my arent i boring?
The beauty of this all is that this is a new morning. Clean slate to start anew with concerns, prayers, thoughts and encouragement to others. Clearly my own situation is not ideal at present. Clearly there is stress that goes with being unemployed....however, clearly there is a need for me to get my eyes off of myself...lift them upward and outward and grasp the world.
It feels good, you know? To chase away that stagnant air that sometimes resides in your soul. Most times we do not even realize it is there...until we take a breath of something sweeter...then...then the growth can begin.
So here is to a new morning, full of mercy.
And a new outlook that includes the world and not just lil ole me.
Whew! What a relief!