Sometimes the love for her wells up in me so much that it hurts my throat.
The sweet smell of her, the tiny fingers becoming strong and able to do so much, the adorable feet, the soft, soft skin. The voice that babbles on, making conversation that i truly wish i could understand. The way she is learning. Recognizing words (at 16 months!), knowing every person's name in our family, remembering how to walk to her class at church, taking the world by storm.
She is not even my child. She did not come from my body. i was not even there at her birth. But somehow this little one is wrapped up in my heart so tight then when she is not here, i almost feel empty.
How is this possible?
And she is teaching me..teaching me to be a better Auntie...how to best relate to her...to all of mankind. Sometimes you have to be firm, almost stern with folks, sometimes you have to shout out if there is imminent danger...most of the time, laughter, cuddling, snuggles and just being together can take care of so many problems. She is teaching me this.
oh and patience...oh my yes. We do not have to rush through life, rather one step, or one bite of food, or a long bath or reading the same book over and over can really take care of so many things. It fills our hearts with time...no need to rush...it will get done eventually.
And let us not forget the importance of naps. If more people took naps, this world would be a kinder place. A grumpy lass given the ability to nap for two hours brings forth a charming and delightful child.
And i am learning. Learning how to love in a different way. Learning things about parenting that i never knew. Learning that my mother was mostly right about everything (!).
Sometimes a little baby changes everything.