Saturday, July 2, 2005

Quiet grace

The weekend is finally here. i'm glad because it's been a rough week.  More surgery for my brother, accusations from a co-worker that were totally unfounded, misunderstandings, financial setback, car problems, disappointments, hurts, boredom, too hot, a grandfather who is insisting upon surgery even though a doctor told him that he may not survive because of heart problems and broken promises -lend for a miserable outlook.  i woke up this morning with the same tension in my shoulders that i went to bed with - but worse.  This trip to Hungary is coming at the absolute worst time.  And i am feeling sorry for myself. (can you tell?  <wry grin>)

BUT - it is a gorgeous day today.  The humidity finally is lower.  There is a breeze.  The sun is shining.  i woke up.  i'm healthy.  my house is still standing.  my car wasn't stolen. my coffee tasted wonderful this morning.  i get to spend time in the garden - weeding and watering my flowers.  i'm not having surgery.  my brother is getting better.  i am going to hungary.  i have a wonderful family and good neighbors.  i am employed. 

i have to decide today that even though i feel that life has kicked me in the face this week and i feel defeated, unwanted, miserable, sad and lonely, that my attitude is a choice.  i can determine the outcome of my day solely based upon my attitude.  i would rather sit around today and cry and pout and throw a temper tantram - that would feel great, but that really isn't who i want to be.  i'd rather meet such things - as this awful week - with quiet grace and determination to do better next week.  Not denying my emotions and i probably do need a good cry, but realizing that one week isn't the end of it all.  Today is a brand new day - no mistakes, no hurts, no misunderstandings, no pain.  Might not be that way all day, but for now, in the quietness of my heart and house, i will embrace the day, thank God for my life and all that i have - including wonderful loved ones, friends and family, and go weed my garden.  

Come with me - let's have a day of quiet grace.

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